I was thrown out to work professionally far earlier than I should have been. I learned the hard way — and it was not an easy way. A lot of insecurity, a lot of self-doubt, low self-esteem, all of it.

So let me ask the question the way I sometimes ask myself: if I had to start from scratch today — thirty years of experience in my pocket but no training — how would I do it? Who would I learn from? Because the answer is not what most people think.

Don't go for the famous one

I've met a lot of famous people in this work. They are not often the most brilliant teachers. Some of them don't truly care about students — they're looking for fame and fortune. Not everybody; there are a lot of good ones out there too. But you should be critical, because it is so easy to be in awe of someone.

You see them on TV, or you watch them demonstrate — charisma, humour, emotion, laughter, a brilliant evening — and you think: that is a brilliant medium. And they might be. But that tells you almost nothing about whether they can teach you.

Every medium has a forte — very few have it all

We mediums usually have a strength in one thing or another. Some are wonderful demonstrators but not so good in private sittings. Some are at their best one-on-one and never quite shine on a stage. And some are great teachers who you'd never pick out of a line-up of performers.

To find a medium who really has it all? I think that's very rare. Because all of us — medium or not — carry our baggage: everything we've been through, our insecurities, our fears. And it shines through somewhere, whether on the stage, in the sitting room, or in how we treat our students.

The test that actually matters

If I were choosing a mentor today, I would watch how they demonstrate. I would watch how they do a private sitting. But more than anything, I would watch how they are as a human being.

You need love, you need compassion, you need to see people, you need to understand people — and you need to love the oddness in different people.

We're not supposed to fit in the same little box. Your talent is different from everyone else's, and the teacher you want is the one who encourages you to find your own true uniqueness — not the one who turns out copies of themselves. That belief is the whole reason our community brings in a different guest teacher every month: learn from many, copy no one.

And while you're choosing — watch how they behave toward other mediums. I've been in this work long enough to have no patience left for the drama, the backstabbing, the jealousy in this business. A teacher worth your development just does their own thing, from the heart, and lets their work speak. If someone is making a positive change for even one person, they're doing the job. The rest is noise.

The course I wish I'd taken first

Here is the thing I'd change about my own beginning, and I mean this with my whole heart: if I had taken a course in personal development — in finding myself — instead of only drilling the mechanics of mediumship, I believe I would have become a better medium faster than I did. And I believe my life would have been a little easier, too.

Because we are so good at crucifying ourselves. When you don't think you're good enough, it's so easy to say "ah, I wasn't meant to do this." That phrase was everywhere when I was developing — anything that didn't come together immediately "wasn't meant to be." Well — we're human beings with flaws. Not everything is smooth. Sometimes you have to fight for what is yours.

And your right is to be able to use your spirituality, to be able to contact the spirit world. That is your birthright.

Start by looking within — at why you might not like yourself yet, why the self-esteem is low. Learn to like yourself first, and maybe later to love yourself. When you do, you respect yourself. And when you respect yourself, you don't take nonsense so easily — from the business, from a bad teacher, or from the voice in your own head. If that voice is the loudest thing in your development right now, I've written about why good mediums quit — please read it before you believe it.

Don't compare. This journey is only about you.

One more thing, because it belongs here: don't compare yourself with anybody. Not with anybody. This is a lonely journey in the most honest sense — it is solely about you and your development. When we compare ourselves with other mediums, they always seem better than us, because we are never objective about ourselves. If you're drawn to this at all, the talent is there, waiting to be looked at — and you don't have to walk it alone.

The person, not the medium

I'll leave you with the measure I hold myself to — the one I'd want any teacher of mine to live by.

When I die, I hope that when I come back from the spirit world through a medium, they will remember me as the person Mia was. That I was a good and kind person — not the medium Mia, because that really doesn't matter. How many messages I gave, who cares? Was I kind? Was I generous? Was I loving? Now we're talking spirituality.

This article is drawn from Mia's video "How I'd Learn Mediumship in 2026 — Skip the Scars" — in her own words, lightly trimmed.